Chains
by ma-cherie-cote
Summary: Set in Season 12. Ziva comes home and finds her and Tony struggling to get back what they once had together. Major character death in coming chapters.
1. Chapter 1

There's a slight sting in her throat when it happens. An unusual burning. The kind where you feel bile transcend quickly up your throat and back down before you can even process what is happening. What's worse is the evident torment in her chocolate brown eyes, holding onto the pain before unleashing it out through thick, tear drops that roll down her cheek quicker than the wind would take tumbleweed.

He can't help but drop his hands off the woman in front of him, the shock written all over his features. That line above his brow more profound than ever and the few gray hair he now possess stick out like a sore thumb. He takes in the situation and his chest wrenches far worse than the pain he experienced with the plague.

"You cut your hair," He bluntly points out, the fear creeping upon him that he can no longer run his hands through the curly, brunette locks.

"You have a girlfriend," She's feisty, he shouldn't have expected anything different from the ninja.

"You stayed," Taking the odd chance of fighting back, he lets those words slip out, immediately regretting them.

"You could have too." Her brown eyes stay concentrated on him, revealing every word they've never spoken to each other in the past two years.

Before he can spit out anymore words, the woman by his desk turns away and shuffles past McGee's desk. But he knows better than anyone that she's heading for the stairs to leave.

"Ziva, wait!" He calls out, rushing after her and leaving Zoe beside the elevator.

By the time he reaches her, she's about to push open the door to the entrance of the stairs. Grabbing her arm and pulling her back, he notices just how hard she's trying to cover up her emotions.

"What?" She snaps, head whipping towards him.

"You'r... You're here," He comments in a low tone.

"Yes, and I see that you are busy. I will be leaving now," Turning her body to the exit once more, he pulled her back. This time closer to him.

"Don't-"

"Tony, why are you even trying? It is clear that things have changed, yes?" Ziva stated. The tears in her eyes glossing over with fury.

"Nothing's changed," Tony pleaded, placing his hands on her arms to which she shook away.

"Please. How dumb do you think I am? Hm," she sighed, stroking back the hair that fell into her face, "Actually I must be pretty stupid to believe everything you ever told me,"

"Just give me ten minutes to explain," His hands went up in defeat.

"I GAVE YOU TEN YEARS," Ziva yelled, startling the whole bull pen to turn and look towards the pair.

"Oh that's mature, Ziva. Make a scene here at work," The Italian rolled his eyes.

Ziva scoffed, "You and that whore were already making a porno in front of everyone,"

"I don't do porn, Zee-vah. You should know that from when you tried to jump me that one summer," The devilish smirk on his face pulsated the anger through her veins.

"So, it is all about sex with you? I understand that now. Such a gentleman," Her snark was perceptible.

"That's not what I mea-" Tony's ongoing excuse was interrupted.

"Clearly a lot of things are not what you meant, Tony. Now if you'll excuse me, I am leaving."

"Can we just talk about this?" He called out after her, but the exit door to the stairs slammed in his face.

Night fall was darker than usual. The mystic glow of the moon fading away alike the hearts of two souls that were once attached so fine, nothing could tear them apart. It could have been the position of the earth and the lateral location of D.C that night, causing the bitter dark to lure away all the light.

"I thought the earth moved," rang in his head, echoing deep into the pit of his soul and making it's round through the left and right chamber of his heart. The cigar smoke entering his once plagued lungs and exiting into the cool breeze of the night.

No, he wasn't a big smoker. But hell, he would do his best impression of Steve McQueen and move on from the beautiful woman with a glass (or four) of whiskey and a cigar.

Awaking the next morning to the rays of light casting in through the hotel blinds, Ziva stretched her arms out. Her chest felt heavy as it rose between each breath, results of a shattered heart weighing on her petite body. She hadn't planned on staying at a hotel in DC, no. She had planned on rushing home with her James Bond and spending the whole night celebrating her return. Not to mention, they had a lot to catch up on and the thought of his tongue tracing down her bare skin made her body long for it all.

But that was never going to happen. James Bond in disguise, Anthony Dinozzo Jr. had moved on.

It shouldn't have come as such a shock. It was a relatively known fact that the man was a player. Was. A. Player. Past tense. She had been fooled those nights after her father died, that night in Berlin and that whole month in Israel. Hell, even fooled that wonderful night they spent the night in Paris, the city of love.

"Couldn't live without you, I guess" struck her heart multiple times as she lay wrapped in hotel sheets. She had been sleeping alone for the past two years she had spent traveling around the world. But each night, she found herself reaching out across the feather comforters of hotels, looking for him.

It was hell the first few nights after Tony left Israel. Ziva spent most of them wide awake, yearning to go back to DC and be wrapped up in his warm arms. No, she couldn't do that. In order to be the woman he deserved, she had to become that woman.

And hell no, it was never about Gibbs. She found herself sputtering out random shit so Tony would keep his distance, yet that was never the case. If he had truly believed she wanted to change for Gibbs, a fool he would be.

This morning, a fresh start in DC hit Ziva the worst. Her Tony was no longer... her Tony. If she could've bet on him moving on, she would've bet on some blonde with huge tits. Not a woman who shared her similar characteristics.

The stress was killing her slowly, eating up every ounce of the new woman she aspired and worked to be.


	2. Chapter 2

DC had changed little from what she remembered. It seemed colder or perhaps, that was just her heart icing over. Walking down the city street, she kept her hands inside her pockets and glanced around at the markets. Eventually, she would need something to eat so she trudged along inside one of the open stores.

Since traveling the world for two years, she had gained a few pounds. Not too much, but enough to show a change. She supposed it could have been from trying all the new foreign foods along Europe and the Caribbean. The difference being that she stopped working out for the first time in her thirty five years of being on Earth.

After spending an hour in the market, Ziva did little shopping in the main district area. Finding it hard to take her mind off everything, she debated on just leaving. Getting out of here, starting over for real in another state or hell, country.

Nothing here she needed and if she did, well, it wasn't hers to have anymore. She could leave, clean slate and all. But one little shiny thought struck into her mind. A piece of her was still missing. Heaving a sigh, she held her hand out to catch a taxi and head to the one place where she knew to find that piece of her.

"_The love we had, we had to let it go"_

Anthony Dinozzo Jr. popped a DVD into the player and sank back into his leather couch. Debating whether to sit through the previews before or to skip over them, his mind wandered. He hadn't got much sleep the night before, the shock of the woman who showed up never exiting his thoughts. Every time he had tried to close his eyes and lay in the whiskey coma state he was in, her face flashed into the depths of darkness. Every tear drop that had left her eye that night, hitting him like a round of bullets.

He hadn't meant to let her see him with Zoe, let alone see Zoe at all. Truly, he had never thought she would come back and his relationship with Zoe to last longer than a couple fucks on her couch. Now, Zoe was questioning him about the woman that stormed in, ripping him hell and not bothering to say a word to anyone in the bullpen before she left.

Sitting on the couch, his phone kept lighting up with Zoe's name on the screen. He tossed the device into the crevices of the cushions, it falling into the pretzel crumbs that live beneath the fabric. _Not tonight_, he sighed and noticed it was finally time to press "Play" on the remote.

Before processing his actions to watch 007, he heard a faint knock on the door. Letting out a groan, he sat up quickly, feeling the dizziness start to fade into his head.

"If I wanted to talk, I would've answered your calls Z-" He swung the door open and paused, mind whirling.

"I did not call you," Her eyes mirrored the spirited animal she was.

"I know… I'm sorry I thought-" He tried again, but was interrupted.

"You thought I was her… yes, I see that now. Sorry to disappoint you," Ziva stated bluntly, peaking a look around him to see his apartment.

"No, Ziva. I'm not- Christ. Can we not do this again?" The annoyance in his voice rose at the roll of her eyes.

"I suppose. You reek of whiskey anyways. I would not want to fight with the drunk," She was testing him now.

Tony stepped aside, allowing her room to walk past him and into his apartment and quickly closing the door behind her. "So, what's up?"

Ziva stared at the TV, smirking when she saw Sean Connery on the screen. "I came to get my necklace,"

If he thought he was going to pass out from dizziness before, he was wrong. The world felt like it had fallen out beneath him, his legs going to give out at any moment.

This was it. They really were ending things. Things that had never been determined or stamped with a name. Things that never got the seal of approval. Things that just weren't meant to be.

"Your necklace…" Tony sighed, rubbing the back of his head with his palm.

"Yes, my Star of David necklace." Ziva stared at him quizzically.

He stood in place still, not moving. She watched him, confused at why he wasn't moving when it hit her, "You don't have it anymore, do you?" The flames of anger brightening up in her brown pupils.

"No- no. I do, it's just… Come on," His legs started towards his bedroom and motioned for her to follow him.

Entering his bedroom, her heart froze at the sight of the king bed that now lay where his twin had once. Oh yes, he had most certainly moved on. Tony made his way over next to the right side of the bed, where a wooden box lay beside the clock. Opening it, he slowly pulled out the chain of the necklace, followed by the star. He took a good, hard look at it before glancing back at her in the doorway.

"How great it must feel for your girlfriend to fuck you with another woman's necklace in a jewelry box beside the bed," A bitchy look crossed her features as she leaned against the door frame, arms crossed protectively over her breasts.

"She hasn't been here actually, but thanks for the quaint thought," Tony bit back harshly, meeting her half way across the room. His body taking a step back if she was ready to attack.

Rolling her eyes, something that must have newly become a habit for her she returned with another punitive comment, "and the lies keep spouting out! Bravo, Dinozzo. Should we just give you the Oscar now?"

"Pouring. Pouring out- actually. Spouting does work, wait, I don't know how you got the terminology right, but no, Ziva. I actually am not lying. Zoe hasn't been in my apartment." He threw his hands up in defeat.

"Interesting. How does one date a woman, but not have her over?" Ziva's arms tightened around her body.

"You believed my word years ago, still works the same. This is my sanctuary, I don't want anyone ruining it," He stepped forward towards her, gearing up for the fight that was about to track on his heels.

"Oh. Well if that is the case, I am so very sorry, Anthony. I am ruining your sanctuary now and when Eli died, I must have really ruined it." Her head turned to the side, glancing at the bed.

Tony laughed bitterly, "Ziva, you are so self-centered. If you really, truly believe that I got rid of the twin bed because you had slept in, you are out of your fucking mind."

"I am out of my mind? You are forty years old and still think it is appropriate to drink like you are seventeen again. Playboy Tony cannot fathom the fact that maybe women are not breaking down doors for him." She pushed the boundaries, stepping closer to him so that their faces were inches apart.

"Sweetcheeks, you seem to be forgetting that you just came knocking on my door and asking for me," His whiskey breath made her nose curl.

"Asking for you?" She laughed, the fakeness in her voice settling, "I would not ask for you ever again. Luckily I have made note of what getting my heart ripped out by you feels like,"

"Oh okay, Ziva. Let's not forget how many times I put myself in death row to fucking save your stubborn ass. My bad, won't do it again," They stared at each other intently.

"You are pathetic," She yelled.

"Yeah? If I'm so pathetic, take your stupid necklace and never come back then," He held out the necklace in his palm.

Ziva's cell phone began to rang and she answered quickly in Hebrew. She kept her eyes connected to Tony, staring him down as if he were prey she was about to rip apart, bone by bone. Her hand grazed his, snatching the necklace away from him and leaving a mark from her nail scratching his skin. She answered a few sentences in Hebrew, nothing that Tony could understand before he saw her face fall.

Her body went stiff, her legs taking multiple steps back away from Tony. Those chocolate brown eyes growing widely, filling with tears and her hand flew to cover her mouth from crying out.

"Ziva…what's wrong?" Tony started walking after her, but she kept backing away, almost to the door of the bedroom.

Before she could make it out of the room, her body dropped and Tony's arms flung out to catch her. Her cell phone crashing to the floor, glass shards flying everywhere from the screen, still on call.


	3. Chapter 3

The cries were high pitched, shaking every bone in his body paralleling the quivers of her body now in his arms. She was fighting, pushing and kicking him away from her while trying to bring herself up of the ground. Her legs were trembling, twin of her bottom lip that was soaked in tears. But the harder she hit him, forced him away – the harder he came back to grab her, wrap her up in his arms.

"Ziva, stop." Tony yelled, crossing his arms over her chest and holding her back from hitting him anymore. He slowly lifted her off the ground, her body still trying to keep him away. "What happened? Tell me what's wrong…" He tried to speak calmly to her, not wanting to scare her any more than whatever she had just heard over the phone.

Ziva shook her head vigorously, muttering small "no's" at him before once again trying to free herself from this hold.

"If you think I'm letting you leave like this, you're wrong…" He stated matter of factly.

The shaking of her body continued and Tony grabbed her hand, pulling her towards his bed. "Ziva…what's wrong?"

"He… He is-"

"Who?" Tony questioned, grabbing her more tightly to try and calm her.

"Schmeil!" She choked out, her body falling against Tony as he sat on the edge of the bed, "Schemeil is dead,"

Tony's forehead fell against hers, his arms wrapping around her waist, where she now was standing in between his legs. Tears were rushing down Ziva's face and her stomach jerked from the news she had just heard. Her body was too weak, fighting against the demons in her head and the man from holding her, she fell into his lap. Her head curled into his neck, the salty tears forming a pool on his shirt and her breath hitting Tony's neck, each time she let out a cry. Finding the skin of her hip, his hands came to rub small circles while shushing her cries.

"I'm so sorry, Zee." His breath hitched as he spoke into her ear, feeling her tremble in his arms.

"I can not lose anyone else," She screamed out, punching Tony multiple times in the chest.

"Oof," Tony groaned, holding onto her tighter.

"I do not have anyone left! I am by myself," Ziva was choking on her cries now.

"No, you're not." He whispered into her ear as she continued hitting him, "I swear to you, Ziva. You'll never be alone,"

"I am, Tony! How can you not see this? I do not have any of my family left. Schmeil is now gone, I have no traces left in Israel! I have no one here. Tony, I am by myself!" She was now angry, forcing her way out of his arms.

He fought back against her, not wanting her to be alone in her condition like this. He had learned that from Eli's death, the longer she was by herself to mellow in the after death, the more she would blame herself for the ways of the world. Grounding her, he held on tighter until she gave up trying to get away. She returned to her spot in his lap, the force of the crying mulling her almost to sleep.

"You aren't alone here, Zee. I don't give a fuck how far away you are from me, how much you're mad at me, or I'm mad at you or how long it's been since we last talked… you are always going to have me. I'm your partner, I took an oath to never leave your side." He tried reassuring her, but she muttered into his chest something that he couldn't hear. His hand traveled up her shirt in back, rubbing her skin to try and calm her down more.

Twenty minutes later, the cries ended and Tony scooched back into bed, laying Ziva beside him. Her face and his shirt both stained with tears, the reminisce of one still running down her cheek. Still tucked away in her fist was her necklace, Tony freed it from her grasp and moved the hair away from her neck. Trying hard not to wake her, he slipped the necklace around her neck and clasped it together, watching it fall down into its place above her breasts. Leaving over her body, he flipped the switch of the bedside lamp to turn the lights off.

In her sleep, Ziva's body curled into Tony's side. His lips came to rest on her temple, leaving a gentle kiss before a shuddered whisper that everything would be okay. One arm wrapped around her body, coming around to rest on her hip and holding her tighter against him.

She didn't deserve this life, she never did. She was thrown into it at a young age by a bastard father who rarely thought of anyone, but himself. He never gave a shit about his kids, let alone Rivka who had to deal with all the mistakes he had made. The more death he threw into their world, the colder they became except; he didn't realize the warm blood that ran throughout his oldest daughter. A warrior none the less, she would make the world a better place, a safer place.

She never would realize how many lives she could save until she strut into that DC bullpen ten years ago. She would never realize the beauty that lurked her skin, her bones and that smile that made the Italian special agent drop to his very knees. She wouldn't realize how great of a mother she would make to a little girl and boy, maybe a few more who would grace the earth years later. She needed to know that she could be a mother, no matter how many mistakes she made in the past or how many lives she had killed. None of that mattered. What mattered was in her heart now, in the way she smiled at the children who walked by her on the street and the couples she glanced at quickly, walking hand in hand before quickly making excuses to Tony that she wasn't staring at them. _She needed to live_.

_She needed to live a life full of love_.

Tony awoke hours later when he felt Ziva stir next to him. She moaned, cracking her neck before snuggling into his chest.

"Your breath smells," She muttered, eyes still tightly closed and her face still flushed from crying.

Tony chuckled, turning his body to face her "Excuse me, Miss David, but… I do believe your breath also smells,"

"Nuh-uh," She snuggled closer into his chest, his arms wrapping around her waist together. "Not like yours,"

"You woke up just to tell me my breath smells?" He laughed again, burying his face into her hair that had fallen into the crease of her neck.

"Your breath woke me up," She whined before giggling at the feeling of his feather light kiss on her neck.

Tony continued placing kisses along her neck, a smile creeping on her face and her eyes never opening. She encircled his head with her arms, keeping him in place.

She froze however, when she felt the coolness of the golden chain that lay around her neck now. He must have put her necklace back on her when she fell asleep. In that moment, she could feel him kiss where the star lay on her chest and returning his kisses back along her neck, making his way up to her earlobe.

"You will never be alone, Ziva David." He whispered into her ear causing the small hairs to whisp away, "I'm forever going to be by your side... I promise you that,"

Ziva could feel the tears forming again in her eyes. She whispered out in the air, "What about Zoe?"

"It's always been you. No one else. She was just someone to pass the time. You're the one who has this…"He grabbed her hands and placed them on his chest over his heart, "Fully, the whole thing. Every beating, fatty filled and cholesterol clogged part, it's yours." He smirked, catching her lips and kissing her with every last breath he had in him.

She sighed, staring at him. Schmeil's presence seeming to linger around the room.

"I'll go to Israel with you for the funeral. The man of steel deserves to be remembered by his best." He smiled at her, using one hand to wipe the tears now falling down from her eyes.

"You do not need to…"

"No, I do. It's you and me in this life together, sweet cheeks." He kissed her once more and placed another kiss on her lips.

Thanks for all the reviews!

The end


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